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TAURUSGIRL @blogspot.com ♥
Thursday, August 18, 2005

Something happened to me today. Maybe only 2 of you reading my blog would know. It all happened because i could no longer take it. Everything seemed so foreign... i could do nothing except to.... to let out how and what i was really feeling inside. The words didn't quite help either, all it did was to make you feel worse, more inferior, as if you're the stupidest thing in the world. Adding onto the damn CSAS project, with dysfunctional people in the group makes life just so miserable.

Had just a brief talk with Xinyi after tutorial today. She told me that sometimes she wonders what is she doing in this course? Does it even suit her? Such questions seems familiar, because i have pondered on them too. So happen that our reasons are exactly the same. We choose to take up this course because it offers a better future (not that the other course are not good), just that Sinagapore is now currently into life science and research, therefore, has the market for it. yada yada. So to speak, for practical reasons, in hope that it offers a good career prospect. But have we ever considered studying something based on interest? Never, well at least not for me. And it's near to impossible to excel in something that you have no interest on. I wouldn't say that i have no interest in science because i use to like it back in secondary school, but my perspective towards it has changed completely. The depth of information fed to you, the concepts learn, seems overpowering. It makes you lose interest, makes you feeling like giving up totally. Like why the hell are you learning all the metabolic pathways for the biochemical reactions in the body? Have i really graps all the concepts learnt in Year 1? Do you get it??? We're studying all this all because of EXAMS!!!!!!!!! And everything gets emptied out once the paper is over. Pointless. But yet, you can't live without a proper educational in Singapore. That PAPER is just so important.

My future suddenly seems so bleak.

To all the friends who comforted me, who showed their concern, and gave encouragement and to those who bought me chocolates, thank you.



Cynthia
Janice
Jennifer
Lynn
Rachel
Samantha
Sarah
Sheryldine